Ach!

Only the good die young. The rest probably remain undead and get hired to think up catchy headlines for the ToI city supplements.
Like this total gem that caught my eye on a recent glance at the Google News page:

Aishwarya takes an elephant ride

What next?

Aishwarya takes a snap. (...of herself during scenes so that she can work on her facial expressions)

Aishwarya takes acting lessons. (hoo boy now that would be something!)

Aishwarya takes a bath. (Perhaps in lurid detail!)

If your enthusiasm isn't already in the dumps after reading the creative headline, the article too makes as much sense. It starts of by throwing light onto the recent excise scandal the actress got into. Then it quickly moves on to her being in Jaipur with Hritik Roshan, for a movie production, and then nosedives into nothingness.
And plus the Mistress of Scheiße has been credited with a few juvenile (and apt) "quips" between those copious giggles that the crummy journos stuff into their sentences as often as prepositions. Do read that thing and assure the 4 year olds around you that they could have an instant shot at a lucrative career.