Face of news down south....

People at the Pune office of TOI, need not feel left out. Their counterparts here in the garden city aren't exactly eligible for receiving a Pulitzer for their efforts with the metaphorical sword.

As I opened my eyes, today morning, I found my roommate Ramesh ogling at one of the PYTs on the last page of Bangalore Times. When it was my turn, I realised that there wasn't much else that Ramesh (or for that matter anyone else) could've done with the newspaper. Here's a detailed "panchnama" of the sad piece of journalism that most of us pay for every morning. Readers may please try and spot the Bangalore connection here.

The first page contained an elaborate write-up on the spirituality of Hollywood celebrities and how much the American film industry has been influenced by the east off lately. It related the success of celebrities, the likes of Uma Thurman, Madonna, et al with the teachings of their Indian mentors. Inset was a box that also glorified the spiritual bent of some Indian celebrities viz Rhea Pillai and her fling with the Art of Living. Last week this place carried an article on another profound subject : "Why do marriages in the Kannada film industry last longer than those in Bollywood?"

Then I there was an audacious article which had a subject that went somewhat like " If you are a good dancer you maybe (must be) good in bed ". It was found (by whom?) that good dancers, who can make their partner look good while dancing, can............well you get my flow, right? It said that one couldn't get better at "it", by learning to dance. Reading further, I found that BT had gone through the painstaking process of polling a few hundred females all over the city and 80% women agreed that good male dancers are better in bed. Does that mean 80% of the females that the newspaper interviewed have been involved in multiple relationships and that too, with enough frequency to have been in a position to answer so confidently? I think I am over-doing it. Anyways, it was a point to ponder upon.

Then came the piece de resistance, the last page. That sheet of paper which has been entirely monopolized by Miss (or is it Mrs?) Sherawat since the past few weeks. Somehow today, the other celebrities had a chance of displacing her from the scene. An article counted how many girlfriends Rod Stewart has been with since his "Do ya think I'm sexy" days! It also mentioned Mick Jagger, who has been responsible for a fair bit of controversy in the females' maamla. A stale news, (obviously a filler) spoke about how CBS will have to pay up because of Janet Jackson's now-famous nipplegate. Then there was an article expressing "concern" on Gwyneth Paltrow having to travel subway train with her kid. Suddenly I felt like I was being pushed far down the economic ladder, having to travel by bus everyday.

Hasn't TOI (Bangalore) found anything in Bangalore, interesting enough to write about? What about the city's public transport, guys? Why isn't there any hue and cry about the crowded buses and the daily traffic jams on Airport road? No say on the ridiculous law passed by Karnataka Govt. regarding delayed releases of non-Kannada films? What about the frequent power cuts?

I must agree with Ramanand. If these supplements don't carry any worthwhile news regarding the city of origin, then why in God's name, do they even call it "XYZ Times"?