A Cruel Waste of Forests

Ach!

2006-12-17T19:59:00.000-08:00

Only the good die young. The rest probably remain undead and get hired to think up catchy headlines for the ToI city supplements.
Like this total gem that caught my eye on a recent glance at the Google News page:

Aishwarya takes an elephant ride

What next?

Aishwarya takes a snap. (...of herself during scenes so that she can work on her facial expressions)

Aishwarya takes acting lessons. (hoo boy now that would be something!)

Aishwarya takes a bath. (Perhaps in lurid detail!)

If your enthusiasm isn't already in the dumps after reading the creative headline, the article too makes as much sense. It starts of by throwing light onto the recent excise scandal the actress got into. Then it quickly moves on to her being in Jaipur with Hritik Roshan, for a movie production, and then nosedives into nothingness.
And plus the Mistress of Scheiße has been credited with a few juvenile (and apt) "quips" between those copious giggles that the crummy journos stuff into their sentences as often as prepositions. Do read that thing and assure the 4 year olds around you that they could have an instant shot at a lucrative career.

2006-05-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

Kapeesh has made a list of the gems of knowledge he has gained from 9 years of dedicated PT reading. Do read his tribute to PT on its 9th anniversary.

PTOI turns a special number which the computer can decode!

2006-05-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

One of our favourite wastes of wood pulp has turned nine. This blog has gone seemingly quiet over the last year. The principal reason seems to have been the exit of the previous editor who unintentionally was a Khashoggi-like most favoured provider of ammunition, but it also coincided with contributors to this blog moving on to actual news sources and a lack of new things to laugh about.

However, in celebrating their ninth anniversary, the purveyors of puerile celluloid and other celebrity chatter have got us interested once more. A 70-odd page set of anniversary specials marks the occasion with their editor Robin Roy saying the following:

The sun rises in the East. And our city is also known as the Oxford of the East. So, it was not difficult to decide on the theme for the 9th anniversary issue - PUNE RISING.
Commentary: So far, so good (barely - the causality of the Orient was a little tenuous, but we let that pass for more imminent goodies)

When we say RISING, we certainly do not mean tall futuristic buildings, cement, steel, deep pockets and only investments. We, instead, talk of the sensitivity, the tolerance level and the acceptability, hence we feel PUNE is RISING - Dil se.
(if only A.R.Rahman had scored for a film called "Pune" - the trilogy would have been complete)

Nine is a special number. Even the computer can decode numbers between 0 and 9. Emperor Akbar also had Navratnas to adorn his sabha.
(ROTFLMAO with resulting acute stomach pain. Getting a free tech lesson was not anticipated. I thought Akbar had a darbar, but he was multicultural enough to have a sabha, I guess.)

So this is also a special anniversary issue, which depicts Pune's yesterday, today and
tomorrow.

We salute the spirit of Pune, the city which believes in Kal Ho and not in
Kal ho na ho.

(in the same way that we believed in Kuch Kuch and not the hota hai part, and will go bonkers over kabhi alvida rather than than the insiduous na kehna, in time for the tenth
anniv. bash)

Thank you, PTOI. The feature is the usual items-between-ads offering, with a college-magazine style sprinkling of quotes as space fillers, along with images and interviews and upbeat stories.

Times of India(?)

2005-08-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted on this blog for quite some time now. In fact it's been almost a year. Anyways better late than never.
A recent visit to TOI's website proved to be quite enlightening. I didn't know Tara Reid was Indian. Nor did I know that India had annexed Pakistan (finally). And while I was unaware prostitution, nudity and sleaze had become the primary sources of news about India. It's true. If you don't believe me, kripaya TOI ki website access karne ki cheshtaa karein!
A newspaper that calls itself The Times of India has absolutely no space for Indian news in it. And when it is about India, most of it is about people who one doesn't care about. Here is a glimpse of what I saw one fine day on their site:

Tara Reid got a separate room to house her shoes.
Three women were held in Delhi for prostitution.
NRI mansions for Rs. 300 per month.
Top 10 prettiest Pakistanis.
Bollywood's tragic star lives.
Naked web chat a rage in China.

Really???
Are these the times of India. I wonder...

Finally, a quiz covered by PT

2005-08-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

Quizzing and Page 3 just don't go together.
When Symbiosis Institute of Telecom Management (SITM) conducts the Telecom Grandmasters Quiz, promotion of quizzing is not as important as the promotion of their event as they get PT to cover their event especially with the chief guests being Diana Hayden and Abhay Deol.

The result of the quiz was reported (understandably on pg. 3), with the title 'Matching wits at the biz quiz'. But perhaps due to the glitter involved in the quiz, the reporter Ms. Kharade (or the editor) forgot to write the most important part: news about the quiz, for the article told us everything about the forgotten and the upcoming films of the 2 celebs, what they wore and their experiences of the Mumbai floods.
So I'll do the PT guys the favour by reporting the stuff they missed.

The name of the 'renowned business school of the city' is Symbiosis Institute of Telecom Management.
The name of the quiz was the Telecom Grandmasters Quiz, not the National Grandmasters Quiz.
There were 5 teams, not 4. There were corporate and college teams.
The winning team of Harshavardhan and Arnab (names mentioned thankfully) are from VIT. They were the only undergraduate college team and beat the other teams by a huge margin. Symbiosis Institute of Management Sciences (SIMS) came 2nd. Some more details here.

Yes we know, shortage of space, when there's more to print such as Karisma's marraige debacle.

Yet I'd agree on one bit from the article.
The list of guests included the who's who of the city including Akhilesh Agarwal, Anand Agarwal, Sulakshana Patankar, Deepak Natnani and Sudarsan Natu.
Who's who indeed, as after reading their names you're bound to wonder who's who?

Cut-Paste

2005-07-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

A comment left as part of this post informs us that there have been some "edits" at the Pune Times.

2005-06-10T05:10:00.000-07:00

The thing about the PTOI is that apart from being party-peepers, their film stories usually get their trivia wrong in large patches. Apart from writing pseudo-intimate stuff about stars and using a lot of "we think" sub-phrases to indicate a close orbit, they have stuff like the following that appeared in today's PTOI (last page, if you're that motivated):

REMEMBER the bearded guy who made his debut into Hindi films with Ram Gopal Varma’s first underworld saga: Satya? He was Chakravarty. Although he did not become a popular Bollywood actor, he has his own fan following down South.

Now anyone who has watched the RGV canon will instantly notice the massive gaffe - in that, Chakravarthy (with the South Indian *h* I'm sure) was around in Shiva. Plus the usual "blah blah down South". I wonder if any Malayali or Tamil would pick Chakravarthy over their other local options to be fans of. Not that J.D.C doesn't deserve it.

Disposable paper crisis

2005-06-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

One reason for the relative quiet surrounding PT-barbs is because the supplement is half of what of used to be. Perhaps they took the advice of some of the star-nutritionists featured on the pages too far. Take today's PTOI for instance - it has just 4 pages. The inner pages are all ads & multiplex schedules & events & cartoons. The back page is the usual cut-paste glamour snippets.

After having been repeatedly told that "Punekars love to Party", we see no evidence of the same. Perhaps this is the off-season.

There has been a lesser waste of forests these last few months - how and why? Pretty soon, this blog will have to be shut down - Help!

Lo siento, ¿Que?

2005-05-29T22:41:00.000-07:00

Every so often, the Pune Times feels the urge to report trends that they see in Pune. Sometimes they get such feelings when no trends exist. What, then, do they do? Write a report on Spanglish catching on among young Puneites.

Spanish is rapidly becoming en vogue all over the world. (...) Influx off Spanish words began from the US and has made its way to India and Pune too. (...) It is an upcoming language and has already become the third official language for many countries which makes it the next important language to learn.

It is interesting to see the things people have said in this article. One young lady says that Spanish is becoming vogue all over the world, and that she needs to learn it. Yes, she would, considering she's a friggin airhostess! Another says that speaking Spanish is now a fashion statement. Yeah. Sure.

Also interesting are the Spanish words they say are taking over the English language. the Pune Times thinks that the appearance of words like macho, patio, jalapeno, rodeo, taco and suave are evidence of the Hispanisation of Punekars. And I thought these were English words now. Adding insult to injury is that many of the Spanish words in the article are misspelled or grammatically incorrect. So, muchachos, I shall help you out. Its not "Muchos Gratias", its "Muchas Gracias". And its not "No Problema", its "No Problemo". Get it right.

So basically, nothing in the article supports the implied conclusion: that Spanish is now a popular language in Pune. It is not. Nor does the article support the conclusion that more Spanish words are spoken by Puneites in their everyday speech. This, too is untrue. What could be said is that US english is slowly absorbing Spanish words, and this is reflected in the English Punekars speak. As American words. That's all.

Perhaps the next time they could write about how Chinese is becoming the new French. Don't we all use words like chop-suey and chow mien?

You there, write something about blogging!

2005-05-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

Thats probably what the editor of the Pune Times said to one of his reporters. And the result was this. An article on how blogs affect buying behaviour.

How is that? Well, a number of bloggers are keying in their personal experiences with the products used. Sometimes its good and sometimes bad. "Because its absolutely frank and non-biased, I pay attention what is written on blog-sites (sic)", says.....

The article then goes on to suggest that many people make consumption choices based on the experiences of others they read on blogs.

Here's my take on things. People who post their experiences on products on the net are not particularly popular bloggers. Therefore it follows that most of the people who read such blogs are those who know the bloggers in real life. So here's the thing. If your friend has a bad/good experience with a product and blogs about it, chances are that he/she's told you about it already. So why credit blogs with changing consumer behaviour? The article seems like a contrived effort to write something about blogging, the new "in" thing over at the Mainstream Media.

My advice to the Pune Times: Seriously guys, stick to the parties. Leave the serious reporting to the proffessionals.

Long time no blog...

2005-03-20T06:40:00.001-08:00

Well, for the past three months, this blog has pretty much been dead. For three whole months, the Pune Times has gotten away with utter crap. This cannot be borne!

In the past three months, lots of interesting stuff happened over at the Pune Times. The size, for example has shrunk, in some issues, to four pages. Just two less, and we would all be happy, but I somehow doubt they would take that drastic step. However, these important issues have gone unblogged about because of the inactivity here, the premier Pune Times bashing forum. So contributors, start posting!

Shy Na

2004-12-26T21:53:00.000-08:00

Shaina N.C. says " Those who are not featured on Page three are the people who criticize it"

Hey so now even the Page 3 gang has accepted that 99.99999997% i.e 50/4 million people crticize page3. So what should be done, is that a 3 page supplement (you can't have one page called as page3) should be circulated at all the parties about happenings at the last party, so that everyone loves it and the rest of the (4million - page3 junta) don't have to be bothered by it. The rest of the 2 pages can have Lalit Kumar Jain's ads. And like Argentina wanted to retire the No. 10 jersey for Maradona - we could have Page 4 after Garfield in honour of Shaina N.C. for contributing to a very noble cause and helping society progress !

Cheers,

Sawai Gandharva - party nightspot?

2004-12-15T04:34:00.000-08:00

My head is shaking in admiration. "Only the PTOI could" is the refrain on my lips.

The Sawai Gandharva is the premier Classical event of the year in the city, but little did we know that it was a matchmakers' & youngsters' delight.

From the 13th December (Monday) edition of PTOI, runs this observant report:

Tickets and passes were rare but young hunks did find ways and means to make passes at the beauties of Pune. The eating stall was an area where a lot of socialising was happenning. We are told that each year at least a couple of matches are made at the Savai.

Move over "Ten Downing Street".

"Kid, You need some Supplement"

2004-11-23T02:51:00.000-08:00

I call Sunday a day for some 'Good Stuff'. That includes a couple of weekend games in the Premiership and the La Liga, maybe a weekend race, a football match with friends and probably a good book. This list I must say has altered, it has one missing entry that would probably have the first a couple of years ago. That coloured 4-page supplement with the Sunday Times, they now call 'Life!'.
One might say that this article is inappropriate for a blog, which intends to criticize the Pune Times. However one must remember that PT is a welcome absentee on Sunday. The now-extinct 'Review' used to be a welcome change. It probably compensated for the weeklong torture that PT readers had to undergo. The writing talent they had and probably still have was absolutely amazing. Mini Chandran Kurian, Abha Shrivastava, Nona Walia, Priya Pathiyan are some of the excellent journalists still working with the Sunday Times. However the way in which the continuously keep on churning the stupid articles on 'Mobile Phone Hazards', 'Is Bipasha Basu Still the Nation's Sex Symbol', '10 Tests to Know if You and Your Spouse Have Problems' ! Such topics not only waste the latent talent of all the journos working with them. It's like putting Sachin to bat at No.9 or bringing on Wasim Akram when only 2 overs are left.
What the "Review" used to provide was a breath of fresh air. Maybe they did concentrate too much on filmstars, but then again they never neglected the cricketers, the hockey stars, IT czars, writers and maybe sometimes 'Society' types. They never had a supplement without an article on an environmentalist or probably a budding film--maker, probably an amazing article that asked people questions no one ever did before. It was truly a deep insight into people, not fully an interview, not fully a third - person article, it did something which nothing else I remember has managed to match (probably RD). It was an insight in to people's minds. What puts it aside was that unlike books(i.e. biographies and autobiographies) which focus on a single person in extreme detail, it was a glance at a lot of people at the same time. It beautifully encapsulated their lives, their struggles, their moments of victory and probably a very impartial third person, a sort of out-of-the-world synopsis overlooking the small wrinkles and bringing to us the beautiful inner face of the subject. It sometimes wove an unseen thread between the various people featured saying 'all these people fought through the hard times and came out on top. That was truly amazing !
I never remembering Review ever resorting to sensationalism, ever indulging in fruitless, futile gossip (less said the better for PT) or ever specifically glorifying/bringing down the public image of a famous personality. It never targeted anyone specifically but brought a balanced view of things in general. That does not mean it shied away from the tough questions. Esp. with regards to filmstars. I personally am not on the bandwagon, which opposes anything that some of us like to call 'commercial/masala' cinema. I think this is mass cinema, the masses (and sometimes, yours truly too) like these forms of entertainment and therefore The Review cannot be blamed for according the Shah Rukh Khans and the Kareena Kapoors their big coloured centre/main page slot. However what mattered was that some people get too soft while questioning filmstars while some go the HardTalk way and there is nothing but a slurry of futile personal questions. The Review did ask a few hard hitting questions however they never over-emphasised the personal life of their subjects nor did they make such matters the centrestage of their articles.
Then one Sunday morning suddenly people at the Times probably suffer an alien burgling of their minds or maybe they donate their rationality at the Alpha Centauri Local Centre for aiding greater research into the Mostly Harmless ones. They suddenly come up with this seemingly amazing idea of 'Men & Women'. They decide that the erstwhile Review needs a super trimmer programme and make it a four page supplement from the previous 6 pages. They decide that the ad area remains the same (obviously), so that most of the times, most of the paper is staring at us proclaiming that Arrow invented the collar. They come up with this flabbergasting idea of 'comparisons'. The review compared people without actually saying so. It as I said wove them in a sort of spell, M&W made it obvious and therefore tasteless and bland. Also probably some PT rejects were promoted (?) so that when two filmstars were compared they invariably would be Kareena Kapoor and Shahid Kapur. Ummm.. very subtle.. Then sometimes they came up with these weird ideas about how various people relaxed, what they wore etc etc. Notice how again the subtle comparisons of its predecessor is replaced by a more tasteless direct comparison. Still the supplement retained its focus on 'people' but in a much different way. We only knew what XYZ eats. There was no tantalizing foreplay, no more beautiful sign-offs , no more an 'article'. What we had was a collection of n number of facts presented together. That was bad.
They then deal the sucker punch. They give us "Life!". It's supposed to be everything. Health, Entertainment, Food, etc etc etc... It ends up being nothing. Again we do have good long articles but the supplement loses it backbone, - it forgets it focus on 'people'. Now we have long drawn out reasons for sibling rivalry, 10 reasons to find out if you have chosen the right man etc, etc. Even listing the topics would be terrible, let alone reading. Maybe the techno section saves the day, but why not leave that to the Digits and the CHIPs and the C@Hs to sort that out. All we want is a high class, well-written focus on people, as it was before. This is not a case of being old-fashioned, or not accepting change but a simple case of opting for the better. I've heard that the journo community is tuned in, so this is a fervent plea to give all the faithful readers those old times back. Till then, have a good Life!.

Abhishek
(for a change in all seriousness.)

This-Claimer

2004-11-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

The evidence to the apparent rise in the readership of the blog can be attributed to the fact that we are witnessing many anonymous comments mostly which I believe are from disgruntled PT staffers who have enlightened us about the insider stories.

But lets all get some points cleared. The objective of this blog is not to make personal attacks at anyone associated with the editorial committee (is there any?), nor in getting the editor or any staff for that matter replaced. Part of the reason is the obvious one that we can do nothing, the other being that we are simply not interested in doing so. The proprietors can do any sh.it they want with the newspaper - i.e. the so-called newspaper. We only revel in poking fun, have a good laugh (and improve writing skills ;-)) since we believe we deserve better as compared to what we get presently. If the editorial board does happen to read this blog, we can only hope they can take some hints instead of resorting to useless tactics like defending their 3rd page. But as long as they are sticking to the hum-nahi.n-suudre.nge policy, Pune Times remains a Cruel Waste of Forests.

Secondly, even though the anonymous comments are not unwelcome, they don't reflect the view of the contributors. So guys, easy on the personal attacks.

Till then, keep the comments coming in!

Pune kids

2004-11-03T21:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's PT has this great article on why 'Pune kids are finding more slots on TV than Mumbai actors'. Now, the premise of the article is not that bad, but the article itself is hopeless.

The reporter jots down a few points to tells us why Pune actors strike gold:
1. Fresh and bubbly faces
2. Identifiable looks
3. Theatre background
4. Don't charge hefty fees

Yes, thats right, ONLY Pune 'kids' have these qualities. It is ridiculous to publish such bullshit in the name of reporting. Talking about the theatre background of these personalities, I don't think any of them are from the theatre world.

This article was not an aberration. Everyday, there has to be a mindnumbingly stupid article on the trends in Bollywood, gossip stories on page 1. Aaargh!

Left off Page Three

2004-11-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

These are the kinds of things that make reading the IIIrd page of the Pune Times so fascinating and worthwhile. Today (2 Nov's) Pune Times of India has a detailed report of a pre-Karva Chauth bash (I must admit that is a novel idea to me in the saturated space of the party-shaarty world). Assorted women "dressed in pink partied hard while applying mehendi, getting bangles, eating delicacies and dancing to DJ Jiten Singh’s music". Oooh! What fun! As the news report mentions, it must have been one hell of a "rocking Karva Chauth bash".

But bashing KC parties is not what this post is about. There, was quietly ensconced among all that "reportage", this little gem (I'm usually not one to pick bones about typos, for it would be akin to a sinner casting the stone):

Spotted there were socialists Maushmi Sanas, Shalini Lunkad and Preeti Mody.

I didn't know the Left took such a keen interest in social customs and revelry! I must admit it shatters my rather narrow view of them as dull ideologues more at home sipping tea and clashing over the finer nuances of Marxist theory over Leninist revolutionary strategies.

Looking at the picture, I'm sure there were no Leftovers that day.

Who reads Pg3?

2004-10-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

A list of the people who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes (with our sincierest apologies to the Complaints Department of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation) in this guest article by Abhishek "PMQ" Nagraj.

Who reads Pg3?

(An essential guide to all those we hate)

It was time I thought to specifically categorize The Other People. The Other Race of people who are either intellectually challenged, or professionally compelled or weirdly irrational to do what we love not to. Every morning when the paperwallah drops in the paper they open the main pages and look deep inside for that small, colourful, little bundle of s$&# that we call a waste of bamboo. Then they open the first page not even glancing at Jim Davis' masterful creations or the day's movies but smirk gleefully as soon as they see those backless
cholis or the lensman's latest crush. This is an official catalogue of all those who encourage this heinous piece of newsprint to be published everyday. It is in short our HitList.

1. The Casual Housewife:
Pg3 Addiction Rating: **
Age: 30 -50

She is someone who has nothing else to do. She doesn't mind glancing over those glossy snaps and may be takes a tip or two for her next evening dress. She may even have a look at the decor and add that to
her home. She also gets something to criticize at her next kitty party when she can say how the younger generation is going to the dumps. We don't really blame her - but in fact encourage her in her attempt to
spread the message of hating pg3 and wish she were be more vocal.

2. The pg3 aspirer:
Pg3 Addiction Rating: ****
Age: 16-30

She is probably one of those PYTs at Fergusson. An epitome of mindless, stupid, superficial good looks sometimes not even that. All they want is to be noticed so that next time Sameer pays her more
attention. She loves attention and she wants more of it. She glances at whatever the pg3 regulars wear and tries to copy them and tries to appear at the right places and tries extremely hard to get herself a
picture on that page she worships. Whether she is successful or not depends upon Bunty-Prashant who are I think PT's favourite lensmen. These are the people guys we must really beware of. They are extremely
dangerous and hold boundless capacity to bore with one's extremely vast stores of knowledge. They are the kind of people who when asked what they would carry if they were stuck on a lonely island would
start off by saying ummm.. maybe Moisturizer ..... (to quote from some Miss World Q&A I had seen). They are at the top of our Most Wanted list. They are our anti-particles, from whom we must beware of
annihilation.

3. The pg3 regular
Pg3 Addiction Rating: *****
Age: no bar as long as the mind is 5 years old.

These are the coup de grace of our search for pg3 addicts. Why not? Everyone wants to watch one's photo in the paper. So what if they are with a different guy each day. Not everyone has these amazing
qualities - a lot of 5 year olds have the brain of an adult, but how many adults have a brain the size of a pea ? Why should they not use this great god given ability to the hilt? These people are hell bent
on wearing that mascara and those halter tops and heading to the most happening hotspot in town where they'll meet their beloved Private Eye. These are the mommies whose daughter is getting married, the
local MP who loves to be a good sport, the struggling actor who can't make it to Bombay Times. These are our main enemies, folks - mark them.

4. The PT Pg3 employee

Pg3 Addiction Rating: *
Age: Does it matter?

Poor fellows! What can they do? They have to read it and not once, but make a draft, proof read it, edit it correct it, blah, blah, blah... They get so used to doing it that they go about their jobs absolutely
mechanically. Like those Hollywood action mutant hero movies that keep churning out, he goes about his job with the stoic detachment of a Yogi. He reads it guys, but it never sinks in. That ain't so bad.
After all it's a question of his daily bread. As long as he gets disgusted within 6 months and asks for a transfer or quits it's fine with us!

5. The eye-goggling teenager
Pg3 Addiction Rating: ****
Age: 12-20

He's everyone right from those chanawala's kids to the X th std. educated student. All he wants is a pretty face to go along with his breakfast. He loves those girls and just can't wait to get his dose
every morning. He doesn't mind a gossip or two as long as it doesn't concern his life in anyway. He's really harmless but does inadvertently support the Pg3 cause, he remains on the HitList esp.
considering his high addiction rating.

Some other categories like Grandparents Who Read to Criticize, 'Aamhi Ingrazi Shikato' readers, Chana consumers, Spying Parents Association Members and finally members of this Blog who read to understand this mysterious species have been omitted due to relative innocence.

Any additions to this list are grossly unwelcome because the writer believes a deeper research involves a crossing over to The Other Side, and comments from The Other Side are regarded as inappropriate for this esteemed electronic publication.

-Abhishek

Look what I found....

2004-09-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

I was searching for Times of India related articles on the web. And look what I found.
See for yourself.

http://techrose.org/justsayno/

Diversifying

2004-09-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

So PT has decided to diversify themselves into reporting action from the sports arena buy roping in a new guest writer: Mandira Bedi. Ms. Bedi, the mascot of the SET MAX circus leaves no chance to let everyone know about her interest in playing with the boys (no pun intended). But can we expect some worthwhile stuff rather than fashion trends in the Indian cricket team? Not to forget that the article appears on the 3rd page...

Times and TV

2004-09-20T03:02:00.000-07:00

As most of us are aware by now that Times would be launching a channel by the name of Zoom, which according to me would be nothing but a TV version of its city supplements. How many people would really be interested in watching the lives of celebrities and all that trash

To announce the same , Times even went ahead and advertised it on its Masthead

More about Times

2004-09-15T04:11:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from Blog of Sumankumar

Times of India: Exotic journalism ;)
A couple of days back I came across a post on vichaar.org. The article spoke about how Times publishes adult content on its portal homepage. I was not shocked and I took it all in with a somber resignation. I am not going into the morality (or the lack of it thereof) of posting such content on a space flocked to by thousands; I am merely sighing, 'how low will you stoop?' Why doesn't a Shivsena or a Bajrangdal protest against such blatant misuse of journalistic privilege? Take TOI's city-based supplements. I have read issues of Pune, Bangalore, and Chennai. Not even a single issue contains news. The writers write about some party or the other; or about the Page 3 people. They publish pictures of these people. Yea, I can live with that all right. But the writing! These guys need some help. In the name of style they write nonsense. One of Times' headlines: Sonia queen. King Cong. I mean, hey, who is your chief editor? Is he still in high school? Some of the high-school news papers have better editorial skills than those at Times. I could go on but Jivha saved me the trouble. Take a look at his Times of India chronicles.

We, Darth Vader

2004-09-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, some readers may have noticed names of some of the contributors of this blog on the front page of PTOI today (in a completely different context of course). Ironic, to say the least :-). However, pliss to note that we were Page One material, not Page 3. We're still learning :-)

Anyway, our sincerest thanks to the PTOI for graciously printing the article, for the BCQC is dear to us and we appreciate all notice given to it (despite keeping all our clothes on, if I'm permitted a very weak joke!).

It doesn't remove our fundamental objections to the content (nor am I insinuating that that was the purpose anyway).

'tis a very weak parallel, but Donald Knuth had his first article printed in Mad Magazine, and the founders of Google were featured in Pl@yb0y.

A matter of policy

2004-09-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Some of the satirical comments on this blog may be misinterpreted (if they are interpreted at all), so let me spell out my stand (atleast personally, but I think the rest of the gang agrees):

* The comments are not personally directed. They are rants against editorial policy that have no equivalent outlet. No one will print long letters to the editors with this content. I can no longer count the number of TOI papersellers whom we have bored the pants off with these points.

* I know nothing is going to really change - the media's marketing men relentlessly tell us that because of such content, their products sell more and they can thus afford to alienate those readers who may be offended/annoyed/indifferent to such content. I haven't met a member of the so-called large group of people who enjoy the content yet, but I'm willing to concede such a person exists.

* Why I still buy the paper? The supplement comes along with the main paper and the alternatives to the main paper aren't better. I don't like paying (whatever I do) to see skin in brown colour instead of monochrome, but like light year long ads in a film pay channel, I have no choice.

* The pune pages in the main paper of late have been quite good, especially with the coverage of the upcoming elections. But shouldn't these be on the pages entitled "Pune Times"?

* Are the pages actually a representation of "aspirational value"? Aspirational value as in having a glass in your hand and an arm around someone?

In-defense of Page Three

2004-09-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

or How I learned to stop worrying and love the pomp

On the 13th of Sept (Mon), PTOI carried a really hilarious article titled Why Pg 3 is numero uno. So hilarious that it's a pity that Blogger doesn't provide animated emoticons like the latest Yahoo! Messenger, or else I could've shown you why I looked like the spitting image of the caricature for ROTFLMAO while reading it.

How else, apart from hilarious, do you characterise statements like the ones quoted in it?

"(It's) my way of keeping in touch with the younger generation" - our Hon. Member of Parliament. "... I'm in touch with them because they can "meet" me through Pg3."

"I stop exercising in the mornings to read Pg 3" - Seema Malhotra (Weikfeld's head)

"Read Pg 3 to know how to live life" - Satish Tandon (Md, Alfa Laval)

"It's nice to see that at this age, they still want me on Pg 3" - Dr. Mujumdar (Chancellor, Symbiosis.

I have tears in my eyes already. A direct hotline to the MP, better than exercise,
a guide to life itself and a faithful servant of the senior citizen - all rolled into one! Stunning! Before I got too carried away in hoary sentimentality, I remembered what the professor's wife told a young Richard Feynman...

The article convinced me like never before. Now I see why all pages are Page Three-ed. There are simply too many celebrities requiring direct interaction with the public.

The article mentions two kinds of people: those who love the articles and those who complain despite reading the articles (mainly because they aren't featured). There's now a new category : cribbers with internet access and blogger accounts and too much time at hand. Recent surveys have shown a sudden spike in the readership levels among readers of the third category. I fight off the dog each morning to grab my copy of PTOI to make my contribution to this blog. Guess that makes me a faithful reader.

I didn't realise how much dark matter there was within me. I could've been a theoretical physicist and Anakin Skywalker.

What a pity

2004-09-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

So we have succeeded in getting PT to read the blog. And to think they actually spend some time to justify the Pg. 3!!
Get a load of this: A whole bunch of arguments in favour of the pg. 3. From whom? The common man? No - the pg. 3 people themselves! Now thats what we call a fair debate don't we? ;-)
Its like conducting a survey in the Kapoor family: "Can Kareena act?" and then in pure PT style announce: "Bollywood thinks Kareena CAN act."

Its a pity...

PS: If you're a PT person and reading this, no offense meant: We hate your paper anyways. No amount of justifications or opinions of celebs is going to change our opinion.

Putting our Money where our Mouths Ain't

2004-09-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

While watching watching the BBC last night, I came across this interesting tidbit. The Committee on Standards in Public Life, a British NGO, recently concluded a long term research project on public attitudes. According to this survey, while 38% of the British public trusts broadsheet journalists, only 7% of them trust tabloid journalists (even politicians did better, with over 20%). Assuming that all the respondants read tabloids, this means that 93% of the British populace pay money to read trash that they dont believe, and that they trust less than Tony Blair and Geoff Hoon!

So this begs the question, what about us? I dont think too many people really find the Pune Times and it's ilk to be really useful as newspapers, but what do we do about it? We read it anyway! The Pune Times carried an article about people badmouthing page three, and avidly reading it anyway. I think this holds true for the rest of the rag equally. No one really cares about Rakhi Sawant's mental state when she's stipping, or about the stupid mindless opinion polls that PT is prone to regularly print, but what do we do? Do we stop reading it? Do we throw it away? No! We read the silly articles, look at the semi-pornographic images that accompanies them and then curse like hell that its all crap. And meanwhile the ads continue to flow, and the owners of this "newspaper" grow richer than Croesus. I say if you dont like it, dont read it. Or post your grievances on our blog, I hear the editor reads it ;-).

Face of news down south....

2004-09-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

People at the Pune office of TOI, need not feel left out. Their counterparts here in the garden city aren't exactly eligible for receiving a Pulitzer for their efforts with the metaphorical sword.

As I opened my eyes, today morning, I found my roommate Ramesh ogling at one of the PYTs on the last page of Bangalore Times. When it was my turn, I realised that there wasn't much else that Ramesh (or for that matter anyone else) could've done with the newspaper. Here's a detailed "panchnama" of the sad piece of journalism that most of us pay for every morning. Readers may please try and spot the Bangalore connection here.

The first page contained an elaborate write-up on the spirituality of Hollywood celebrities and how much the American film industry has been influenced by the east off lately. It related the success of celebrities, the likes of Uma Thurman, Madonna, et al with the teachings of their Indian mentors. Inset was a box that also glorified the spiritual bent of some Indian celebrities viz Rhea Pillai and her fling with the Art of Living. Last week this place carried an article on another profound subject : "Why do marriages in the Kannada film industry last longer than those in Bollywood?"

Then I there was an audacious article which had a subject that went somewhat like " If you are a good dancer you maybe (must be) good in bed ". It was found (by whom?) that good dancers, who can make their partner look good while dancing, can............well you get my flow, right? It said that one couldn't get better at "it", by learning to dance. Reading further, I found that BT had gone through the painstaking process of polling a few hundred females all over the city and 80% women agreed that good male dancers are better in bed. Does that mean 80% of the females that the newspaper interviewed have been involved in multiple relationships and that too, with enough frequency to have been in a position to answer so confidently? I think I am over-doing it. Anyways, it was a point to ponder upon.

Then came the piece de resistance, the last page. That sheet of paper which has been entirely monopolized by Miss (or is it Mrs?) Sherawat since the past few weeks. Somehow today, the other celebrities had a chance of displacing her from the scene. An article counted how many girlfriends Rod Stewart has been with since his "Do ya think I'm sexy" days! It also mentioned Mick Jagger, who has been responsible for a fair bit of controversy in the females' maamla. A stale news, (obviously a filler) spoke about how CBS will have to pay up because of Janet Jackson's now-famous nipplegate. Then there was an article expressing "concern" on Gwyneth Paltrow having to travel subway train with her kid. Suddenly I felt like I was being pushed far down the economic ladder, having to travel by bus everyday.

Hasn't TOI (Bangalore) found anything in Bangalore, interesting enough to write about? What about the city's public transport, guys? Why isn't there any hue and cry about the crowded buses and the daily traffic jams on Airport road? No say on the ridiculous law passed by Karnataka Govt. regarding delayed releases of non-Kannada films? What about the frequent power cuts?

I must agree with Ramanand. If these supplements don't carry any worthwhile news regarding the city of origin, then why in God's name, do they even call it "XYZ Times"?

Truth, Blessed Truth and Statistics

2004-09-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

For some of us, the carping against the Pune Times has occasionally taken on the zeal of a religious crusade. The reason for that is very simple, and successive posts on this blog will demonstrate that very clearly.

My principal opposition is that if a supplement called itself Pune Times, shouldn't it have a significant chunk of news about Pune? That's where PT differs in its interpretation. Here are some numbers to underline this point:

Take today's (Wed, 8 Sept 2004) issue. There are 6 pages in the edition, out of which 1 is devoted to cartoons, upcoming events, TV schedules and the like, which is perfectly fine. There are 25 news items on all the remaining 5. How many of them do you think are about Pune or even have an oblique reference to the city?

Just FOUR. 4 out of 25. Which means that news about Pune forms only 1/5th to 1/6th of the edition. Which for a paper calling itself Pune Times is astoundingly insufficient.

I must, however, commend the one they got right. The standout article today was on the Tekdi project. Outstanding because it is relevant, informative, useful and worth public notice. The same cannot be said about Sandali Sinha's dream role being Simran in DDLJ (I have nothing against Ms. Sinha, but there's no relevance putting her as the leading article on the front page of a city supplement). But in comparison, I'd rather read about Ms. Sinha than the "##Dare## aaye durust aaye" Rakhi Sawant (see Salil's post)

Coming back to numbers, about 16 articles were on film actors, pop stars and social dos.

I don't think I'll be this incensed if the supplement called itself "Entertainment Plus" or something. That'll take the wind out of the sails of this blog. But "Pune Times"? Nope.

Bikers, Rockers and Item Numbers

2004-09-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

Lessons learnt today:-

Dhoom has caused ripples in the city! Pedestrians, hawkers and jaywalkers watch out, the latest killers on the road are motorbikes. Whats happening to our safe Pune roads? Our city fathers better wake up and take immediate actions to curb the increase of superbikes (An option is to ban the movie).

Underground rock exists in Pune! And know what? Rock is influencing today's youth into drugs! Whats the world coming to?? And know what? Gutsy PT, after a dense investigation, has revealed the rates of everything from weed and hash to cocaine. Doesn't this remind you of the scoop that the journalists in the 30's achieved after Bhagat Singh & comrades revealed the art of bomb-making? Kudos to them anyway. Lets encourage them in this courageous investigation. And also expect a scoop soon on the sources of manufacture and retail of hash.

And our role model Mallika Sherawat does have a rival! The bold Rakhi Sawant (who just missed a nomination for best supporting actress award for Main Hoon Na) not only accepts bold roles, but also happens to be the only girl to have the guts to do such things. And remember, it isn't cheap 'coz "it has been shot like a Hollywood movie".

Which makes me wonder: Whats the difference between Mallika Sarabhai and Mallika Sherawat?
Mallika Sarabhai can DARE in front of anybody.
Mallika Sherawat can BARE in front of anybody.

Can't wait to find out what exclusives tomorrow's paper will have...

So much newsprint, nothing to report....

2004-09-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you put together one of India's oldest names in English journalism and one of India's greatest cultural, educational and economic centres? A really great, froody newspapers? An urbane, intelligent and intellectual periodical? Or a really witty, fun and informative journal?

Well, none of the above, actually. What you do get is six pages of complete and utter nonsense that occaisionally prints some news (or other useful stuff) when there is a drought of parties (for these are the staple fare of our aforementioned publication). You get a paper that no one really reads, or likes (at least no one I know) but that is printed everyday anyway. Just as Microsoft only sells junk like Windows Media Player by bundling it with Windows, Bennet & Coleman ltd. can only sell the Pune Times (for that is the rag I refer to) because you cant buy The Times of India without it (perhaps someone should inform the MRTP).

In this information driven age, the press is an important guardian of freedom, democracy, social values, and so on and so forth and such like. It is a watchdog, a sentinel in a time of falling social and moral values. But as a Roman (Who's name I haven't bothered to Google) said, "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?". Hence, this blog. This blog shall play host to the views to all those tortured souls who dont appreciate having to read a testament to mediocrity with their city's name on it every morning. No longer will their personal blogs choke with their righteous indignation at some new outrage in print.
Viva la Revolution!

(Those of you who would like to join this pioneering effort in PT-bashing, mail me (or post a comment here). Those of you who dont want to join, quit the staff of the Pune Times, and mail me.)